Tuesdays Are Always Better

After having a bad case of the Mondays, I find that Tuesdays are always better.

Yes, it's raining. But that means I won't have to water the plants.

And yes, I have class tonight. But that means I'm that much closer to the end of the term.

And yes, I still have lingering blisters from yesterday. But I'm wearing comfy shoes today to make up for it.

And yes, my car still has the scrape on it. But my husband offered to take it into the repair shop for an estimate for me so I don't have to deal with that stress by myself. He even offered to wash my car for me.

So Tuesday is a better day.

A Bad Case of the Mondays...

I'm having a really bad day.

My cell phone died.
My car was scraped while parked on the street.
I didn't get to eat my lunch.
I developed a gigantic blister.

...Here's hoping I don't fall and break anything on my way to class tonight.

Yes... it could be worse. Please don't wish that on me either!

Being In-Between

I don't like being in-between. I know that everyone says that it's the journey, not the destination. What a load of crap. Okay, some journeys are good ones. But this journey between my previous life and being a lawyer is getting pretty tiresome. I just want it to be over, yet I have another year left of law school.

I miss having a "real" job. I know I gave that up to work at something less stressful while I'm in law school. But I have to say that being a secretary after having a substantive job is a hard adjustment. Yes, I like having less responsibility sometimes. And less pressure is nice too, sometimes. But call me ungrateful if you will - I sometimes get really sick of making copies, ordering supplies and answering the telephone. I silently grit my teeth when someone at work asks me to schedule a meeting for them. Or when they don't tell me the details because I don't need to know them for my job.

I have to give them credit, secretaries do a lot of menial yet important work for little gratitude or pay. They certainly take a lot of crap and are an easy scape goat if things messed up (even when most of the time its not their fault.) I have a greater appreciation of all secretaries now that I've been doing it again for the past two years.

And let's face it, if people don't know I actually have a degree and a former life, the snob factor comes into play. I feel like the upper level staff here look down on me and treat me differently because I'm "only a secretary". If they only knew....

The funny thing is, most of the secretaries where I work have bachelor degrees but are in-between other jobs. We commiserate a lot!

Yes, I know, I have plenty of challenge trying to learn the law. I like school well enough and there's plenty of intellectual stimuli if I want it. There's a lot of hard work too, which is why I needed a less stressful day job to balance the workload out.

But I miss the challenge of having a higher functioning job. I miss working on technical issues and on researching policy. I miss having to problem solve something more than how to unjam the copier. There are some people who can spend their entire lives working at a certain repetitive level and be perfectly happy. I've seen it here and I saw it when I worked in state government. I am not one of them.

After finishing undergrad and doing some lower level positions, I've spent many years doing higher level work. To go back down to a secretary-level position has been hard. I get bored easily, so answering telephones and sorting the mail just doesn't do it for me.

That's why I'm in law school.

I guess I just hate being in this in-between phase where I'm not really one thing or another. I'm a former analyst, current law student who works as a secretary to pay the bills.

I guess I'm having a case of the Mondays!

Nothing Worse than a Summer Cold!

There is nothing worse than a summer cold. The sun is shining, there are beautiful flowers in the yard. And I have a head full of snotty gunk, courtesy of my husband who caught a cold while out of state on business! When I asked him to bring me something back from his trip, this was not what I expected. And now he's gone away again!

I stayed home from work yesterday to a chorus of evil birds wanting to chat with me all day and when I wouldn't, they screamed from neglect. Apparently it's not good enough to let them out of their cages and be in the same room as them. If I'm home, according to the little evil beasts, I should be paying attention to them. Oh, and gee thanks Big Bird for flapping your wings non-stop and adding more dust to my already stuffed up head.

Then I went to class yesterday evening but in between sneezing and coughing, while my eyes watered (I'm sure the prof thought I was moved by his lecture), I barely remember any of it. Tonight, I have another evening class, which I'm sure will be more of the same when it comes to the wheezing, sneezing, and leaking.

Tips for Finding Career Alternatives

I'm not feeling terribly inspired this month on my blog, but I am feeling a little feisty about my career prospects being so crappy, especially in this economy.

Over at Above the Law, they have an interesting post entitled "Career Alternatives: A Panel Discussion". The article offers tips on those considering alternatives to law firm careers. While jobs themselves may be scarce, especially in large firms, solo or contract work (not to be confused with document review temping) may still be an option for some.

Although I should add that the field is probably getting a little crowded with all those Big Law survivors and layoff survivors mixed in with the newly graduated.

Am I panicked about my career prospects? Not really... at least not yet. I'm not delusional, I just can't live that way. Instead I just keep plugging along at school for another year while I work my regular 40 hour a week job (which I have no intention of quitting until I graduate, pass the bar, and find a legal job).

Law Student Power Trips

A few days ago I was sitting in my classroom about a half hour before class going over my notes. There were about five others in the class doing the same or chit-chatting. This is normal and unless there's a class right before mine, I do this for every class.

Well, this time an unknown student walked in and brusquely announced that she had reserved the class room until 6 pm and we must leave. She must have been some junior leader of a law school organization. I knew she was a student because she was far too young to be a professor. She was also too well-dressed, with her well-coifed hair, little professional suit, and matching pumps, probably trying to overcome the fact that she looked about 12 years old. None of our professors dress that well for an evening class.

When we just stared at her in surprise, she brusquely announced again in her I-mean-business voice, "You have to leave the room. I have reserved it for our meeting so you have to leave. This is OUR room right now. You have to leave!" No please, no sorry, no excuse me, no thank you, nothing. Just come in and kick us out. And there were a hallway full of EMPTY classrooms that weren't being used at all. I was expecting her to stomp her feet next and start whining if we didn't comply.

Okaaaayyy.... I've never had this happen before a class but whatever...

So we packed up and went into the hallway. A troup of her little look-alikes came entered into the room, looking annoyed to be there. They spent a total of TEN minutes in the room. And then they told us we could come back in.

COME ON! Ten minutes??? You couldn't hold your brownie troup meeting next door in the empty classroom? Instead you had to come in on a power trip and kick us out?

I understand she reserved the room (when she could have found an unused classroom, we have plenty in the evening.) But little Miss Power Trip could have been polite about it.

If I had acted that way at work, I would be having everyone pissed off at me, and my supervisor would probably be having a "special" talk with me about playing nice with others. And if anyone acted that way to me at work, they could bet that I would remember that later on when they needed something from me. Maybe I've been in the work-world a little too long, but this girl's behavior was unacceptable.

Sometimes I think being a non-trad makes me have too high of expectations from others.

I hope this girl doesn't think that bullying her way through life will get her very far... because some day she'll run into a bigger bully who isn't as accomodating as we were.

Student Debt Relief Webinars

It's never too early to start thinking post-law school.

For anyone who's interested, Equal Justice Works is offering Student Debt Relief Webinars. The first one starts on June 17th.

The first set in the series talks about how government and nonprofit employees can earn public service loan forgiveness.

The second set in the series talks about income based repayment plans for student loans.

Both of these topics are important because they are new ways to manage your law school student loan debt through the College Cost Reduction and Access Act. The new income-based repayment plans start in July 2009.

If the whole Webinar doesn't appeal to you, you might check out some of the online articles Equal Justice Works offers on Student Debt Relief.

Former Attorney Becomes Dogwalker

Of all the jobs that I have considered should I not find a legal position upon graduation, I never thought of being a dog-walker. But all things considered, it would be an awesome job, especially because I love dogs!

Attorney Turns Dogwalker After Economic Downturn

And why not? It beats doing document review in a dark office building basement or mopping floors for a living.

The Need to Work Full Time

I am a non-traditional law student in that I'm not straight out of undergrad and I work full time. I work for two reasons: money and lack thereof.

Law school would be so much easier if I didn't have to work. And I would graduate much sooner. But it's one thing to get scholarships in law school, which I have some, but they do not cover everything tuition-wise, nor do they cover my living expenses. So I need to work.

A co-worker of mine just received news that her husband was going to be laid off. Of course, I felt bad for her. He works at the same university we do, so of course we were all nervous about getting laid off. The difference between him and I is a matter of a couple of years of seniority which I have and he didn't. A couple of years isn't much, so I'm still nervous that I could be laid off.

What made it worse was that my coworker said, "It's not like you need to work, you're in law school and can get a different job." I don't think she meant it to be mean, but it still stung. On top of that, it was not correct.

I told her I needed to work to pay the bills (since my husband is not independently wealthy.) And yeah, when I graduate and pass the bar in a few years, I will be capable of getting a new job - provided someone is hiring or I'm ready to go solo. But for right now, I need my paycheck to cover things like electricity, phone bills, dog food, bird food, people food, etc.

I also refuse to take out crippling law school loans. I do have them, but not the full amount I would need to survive without a job. And I'm not tapping into my retirement accounts -that is for emergencies, such as actually being laid off.

What a stressful time to be a layoff survivor in law school.

Irrational Fears

Every week in ADR class, we have group participation. I loathe them.

Yesterday afternoon, I had an irrational fear of the group participation that I had to do for my ADR class that evening. I sat all afternoon wishing I could skip class and feeling kind of sour in my stomach. I was wishing that the floor would swallow me up.

Half my battle, I think, is finding a partner in class. I am very shy at first. I hate having to ask to join groups and I have no close friends in the class, so it's awkward for me. It's like speed dating in the wrong crowd (another activity I would NEVER willingly do). In class, I feel like I sit on the great divide... more serious students on one side of me, the dudes and dudettes on the other (including dude from the other day who doesn't bother to make any effort).

So when the professor asked us to split into groups of four, I lucked out because the nice people on one side of me asked me to join their group. Hooray. The first hurdle was over and I felt a little better about the group participation. My neck stopped feeling so tight.

Then the dude next to me asked if he could join us. We agreed, of course, because that's what polite people do when asked. But let's leave it at the fact that dude put no more effort into our group participation this week than he did last week in class. He did admit to zoning out last week, which was why he felt he could not participate more this week because he didn't know the material.

My other fear of group participation is that helpless feeling of not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing. We managed to work out how to calculate BATNA's (best alternative to negotiated agreements) but it was challenging because in a group, there can be seventeen different theories of how we should handle it. And of course, I forgot my calculator (and the one on my phone is basically useless) so I had to rely on someone else to work the problem for me, making me feel helpless.

And then there's role play... bleh! I never feel natural when I'm doing role play and I feel like I'm never doing what I'm supposed to be doing. We tried to get into it, but in all honesty, in the end we talked about how a real attorney might handle the situation. It was enlightening to learn about the negotiation process. But role play always feels false to me. I would rather observe a real negotiation session, but I know that's hard to do.

I had these same sour feelings about doing the First Year Moot Court competition in school. My stomach felt sour, I had a hard time deciding who to partner with, and the actual role play was hard because it didn't feel real.

I know this type of role play is important in the learning process, I would just prefer not to do them (ever again).

In my old job, we had meetings where we always had an icebreaker activity. I hated those as well. And I still managed to do my job quiet competently, including speaking in front of others and interacting with the public. So maybe it's just pretend activities I don't like?

Apathy

Something about weeks 4-6 each term make me feel apathetic about school.

Weeks 1-3 are stress-filled, wondering how I did on my exams. Weeks 7-14 are spent with my nose to the grind, with a special push weeks 12-14. But weeks 4-6 are kind of just there.

The thought of actually working hard during this time just never seems to sink in. I have every intention of studying during these weeks. I get the book out, put it on the coffee table, and tell myself in an hour I'll crack it open and start reading. By the next morning, it's still there, sitting quietly on the coffee table, unopened, now covered in a small sprinkling of bird dust. Just in case there isn't enough bird dust, Big Bird will give an extra flap of her wings to scatter more.

The road to hell is paved with law school intentions, I guess.

Maybe it's post traumatic stress disorder from exams? Maybe it's just exhaustion that sinks in and it's my time to recoup. Either way, I could care less about studying right now. I did manage to spend four hours last night watching episodes of old television shows on DVD. So it's not that I'm completely lazy... just lazy about law school.

Oh well, week 7 will get here before you know it and I'll be back in the saddle again.

The Children

Introducing Big Bird, Little Bird, and the Piggy...

My biggest fans, next to my husband, but also my biggest obstacle to studying.

He Came and Went

My husband came home for the weekend on Friday and as of this minute, he's flying out to another state for another business trip. It was nice while it lasted.

He called me from the airport on Friday to let me know he was on his way home, so by the time he pulled into the driveway, the little bird and I were sitting on the front porch waiting for him. Little bird saw him and let out a giant scream of delight. I was a little more reserved and waited until he actually got out of the car. Even Piggy (the dog) came home for the weekend to be with us.

Unfortunately, this weekend was spent trying to catch up on housework, yardwork, and other family commitments. I did not manage to get caught up with school work, however, so I'll have to do that during the week. On Sunday evening, Piggy was sent back to my parents' house for the week while my husband is gone so someone can let him out in the evenings while I'm in class.

Despite being busy, my husband and I did manage to spend some time together in the basement on Sunday morning. He was on the treadmill and I was on the exercycle, both of us watching the History Channel. Yeah, we're really an exciting couple - NOT! Just kidding!

This morning, at 3:30 am, when my husband was getting ready to leave the house for the airport, little bird screamed again to let us know that something wasn't right. I yelled at little bird to be quiet so I could go back to sleep. Fortunately, he did but I can't say I got much sleep.

On the plus side, my husband will be home on Thursday evening so it won't be as long this time. Maybe things will be calmer next weekend when he's home...

Higher Hurdles for Non-Trads

Last night in Evidence class, my professor said that anyone can learn Evidence, but not everyone will.

He said it takes focus and you can't get distracted. He used the example of a student who has a family and children while going to law school. He said you have to decide where to put your priorities. He said that you can't focus more on your family commitments than you do on your studies or you will not do well in law school. I was a little taken aback at first, that he would suggest having a family and doing law school makes it harder to learn the law.

I wonder if it's true. If competing priorities hamper a non-trad student. I know that non-trads can sometimes face higher hurdles than your straight-out-of-undergrad students. Age and stamina may be a hurdle. Family commitments. Full-time work (at least for me). Or just trying to take on too much.

They are indeed hurdles, but I don't see them as insurmountable. And maybe with age and experience, for some these hurdles might be easier to overcome as a non-trad who's had experience juggling their lives before law school.

It's definitely harder to juggle competing priorities and still do well in school. My first year in law school I had a much harder time than I do now. This year, things turned around for me and I've found what works for me in terms of trying to do it all. (Instead of trying to do it all, I don't. I only do what I can handle.) My 2L grades are much improved as a result.

I have a law school friend who is non-traditional in that she's older than me and had a previous life before law school. When she started law school, she worked full time - like me. But she found that full-time work interfered with her studying and she wanted to get done with school faster. So she quit her full time job, took a part time job, and added an extra class at school.

With her new schedule, she was doing well in school and not feeling as stressed. She thought she had tons of time. So, after trying out this new schedule, she figured she had plenty of extra time to add even more to her life, so she added yet another class, did freelance writing, and volunteered in addition to what she was already doing. In fact, she took on so much, she made ME look like I had a leisurely schedule.

When I asked her if she was maybe taking on too much, she said no, she needed to get through school faster and that she could handle it. Two terms later, her grades are suffering and now she's majorly stressed.

It's almost funny (if it weren't sad) that she quit her job to have more time and now that she doesn't work full time, she's even more overloaded than if she had kept her job.

So maybe the professor is right... maybe it's about not trying to juggle too much? Maybe it's more important to prioritize what you've already got? I wouldn't say that just applies to non-trads, but instead it applies to law students in general.

Husband is Out of Town

Warning: This is a self-indulgent post....

I would like to first start out by whining.... my husband is out of town all week for work! And he has to go out of town next week, then another week after that, and even more later in the month.

Wow, it's hard having him gone. It just throws me all out of wack not having him there. Yes, I know we already had limited time together to begin with since I'm in law school and work full time. But now we don't even have that.

I miss him terribly because we've never really spent this much time away from each other. On top of that, I have to pick up the slack around the house - which I'm not doing a very good job of - while he's gone. And I also have to take care of the animals. All of this on top of working and being in school.

When he changed jobs last year, we knew he may have to travel a little. But he's never had to be gone this much before.

I have barely cooked since he left. It feels so wasteful to cook just for me. So instead I've been scrounging up leftovers, eating lean cuisine microwave meals, or getting takeout.

I actually haven't studied very much either, mainly because I'm feeling a little apathetic about school - which is normal for me this time around the term - but it's worse having my husband gone. The funny thing is, when he's home, he's sometimes in one room while I'm in the other, so it's not like we're constantly together. But having his presence in the house makes a difference.

As for sleeping, while having the bed to myself may sound like heaven, it's not. It's lonely and hard to sleep with no husband and no dog crowding me out. There's too much bed to roll around in. And the house is too quiet. I lay in bed longer in the morning than normal because I don't have to share the bathroom, but I also end up getting to work later than normal because I'm off my regular schedule.

When we call each other in the evenings, it's funny that we don't have much news to tell each other since he hasn't been gone THAT long. I feel like I need to tell him exciting news, not just that I watered the garden and took out the trash. But despite everything, it's still really nice to hear his voice.

I confess, I shipped Piggy (the dog) out to Grandma's for the week because my late classes make it hard to come home and let him out or even feed him. That's not fair to Piggy so off to Grandma's he went. Of course, Piggy is treated like a little king at my parents' house, so I highly doubt he misses me much.

Big Bird and Little Bird are a little more self-sufficient, but since they have the capacity for speech, they tell me off each night when I come home for leaving them so long. I actually think they are a little stressed out because both my husband and my dog are gone. I think they don't quite know what to make of it. Little Bird now sounds the alarm every time a truck the size of my husband's comes down the street. Then he waits to see if it pulls into our driveway. It's a little sad to watch - and painful on the ears to listen to - but he's going to be so happy when my husband finally comes home.

The only bright spot is that my husband will be home on the weekends this month... so Fridays can't be here soon enough for me right now.

To the "dude" in my ADR class

Dear Dude in My ADR Class:

You plunked down next to me yesterday and, in a pleading voice, told me you missed the last class and were lost. You asked me what you needed to know for today. I said our assignment was due, but that you still had time to write it before the prof collects them. I said that you didn't miss a lot, just review the material on principled negotiation in the powerpoint handout.

You then did not turn in the assignment, even though it was on the syllabus for weeks and you could have hand written it in the ten minutes before class. These assignments affect your grade and you can't turn them in late. Nor did you participate in any of the discussions, despite the fact that we are given points for it. Instead, you cracked open your laptop and proceeded to facebook for the rest of the class.

Just to let you know, since you can't bother to make an effort, I won't bother to help you again. If you are not going to bother making an effort in class, go facebook yourself!

Sincerely,
Law Ingenue

P.S. Thanks for helping me get a higher grade for seeming like a star pupil in comparison.

State Loan Forgiveness Programs - Stable?

Over at The Shark is a great post about loan forgiveness programs. It discusses the New York Times article Students Relying on Loans Wonder Whether Forgiveness Will Last.

While sad as it may be, I don't rely on my state for a loan forgiveness program. With the auto industry in a massive decline, there is no money in our state for loan forgiveness, or anything else for that matter. So I am hoping to take advantage of the federal loan forgiveness and repayment programs.

Let's be realistic, jobs are scarce and legal jobs are even more scarce right now. So while I plan to work, I know it won't be for very high pay. So loan forgiveness and the new federal loan repayment programs will be a lifesaver for me, especially at my age.

I'm not young enough to stretch my loan out forever. Although I must say I do know some nontraditional law students who will probably die before they pay off their student loans, and have no qualms about it. I plan to retire before I'm 70, which means I will have to have my loans paid off by then.

So it is in my best interest that the economy recovers, especially in the federal government, even if my own state continues to plunge into the biggest depression I've ever seen.

Makes My Day

In law school, there are plenty of days when you feel wiped out before you even get home. But no matter how bad the day is, when I get home and my little green cheek conure yells, "Sweetie? U're cute! U're cute!" I have to smile!

Grades are FINALLY in!

I think that professors LIKE to hold onto your grades until the very last moment, kind of as a payback for having to slough through all our essays and actually read them.

I had three out of four grades in by week one of the new term. We're now at week four and my last grade finally came in. All totalled, I had two A's, one A-, and a B. Dean's list material, and I'm pleased. But gesh!

I was sure my last grade was going to be a D after I left the exam. I was stunned when I found out I received my A-. And then to stress over it for six weeks until the grades finally came in yesterday was very tiring. I don't know why I stressed so much, except I was sure when I left that last exam I did poorly because the multiple choice were like reading a foreign language.

The professor claims he made them intentionally hard, like a bar exam question, to prepare us. Um... nice if he would have taught us that way, but the way he taught us and the way he wrote the questions were like he was two different people. And I've seen bar exam questions that weren't quite that hard.

What made it worse was that someone else who took his exam said it wasn't very hard so when I felt it was hard, I was sure it was because I was stupid. Well, I guess I must not be too stupid (that or my "Innie Meenie Minie Moe" choices were spot on) because I scored an A-.

I can't wait until law school is over!!!!