If You're Going to Have a Meltdown...

Since I have evening and weekend classes this term, my first exam started on Saturday at 1 p.m. That may seem early, but there were others who had 9 a.m. exams that day.

I arrived around noon to study in the lobby of the law school, which is pretty vast. To my great fortune, I found a table all to myself. While the nervous buzz of students milling around the lobby was mildly distracting, I thought I could handle sitting down there to review my notes. I was wrong.

Much to my chagrin, I discovered why my particular table was empty. The table next to it was filled with first term students who had apparently just finished their Contracts exam. They were all telling each other in a high-pitched, post-exam frenzy how "easy" that test was and that they must have aced it. Then they tried to tell each other what grade they will receive, unless "one person totally nailed the essay, and then we're at the mercy of the curve."

They kept practically yelling in their excitement at how well they did until they started talking about specific exam questions, when some of them discovered they had different answers than the others, and one guy realized he wrote the wrong thing for his essay.

Chaos ensued!

The guy started with a booming, "Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd! I'm gone flunk! I'm totally going to get a D now!" The high pitched frenzy exploded at the table with everyone starting to compare answers. The poor guy whipped out his cell phone and in a voice that only people use on a cell phone, ten decibles higher than normal, he started telling whomever that he was now going to flunk. He paced up and down the lobby, breathing rapidly and exclaiming how the end of the world was coming.

Yeah, nice place to sit when I'm trying to study for my first final.

I have to say that in general I'm a little more nonchalant about exams now that I'm almost in my third year instead of my first term, like these people. But I've learned the hard way to never sit around stressed students when I'm trying to review. That's why I generally avoid studying in the library during finals. I'd rather study at home where the only nervous buzz comes from the dog and the birds when a jogger runs by the house.

As a public service to law students preparing for exams, here's my second tip post for exam week (and it's a triple one):

1. Never disect your exams when they are done. Probably because these were first termers, they hadn't learned this tip yet. But hopefully they will learn it quickly because I highly doubt it was their last exam of the term. Now they're going to psych themselves out for their next exam.

2. Never, ever discuss exam questions with other students. Four people can write an essay four different ways and still get points for it on an exam. But if you hear that someone else wrote something different, you'll second guess yourself until the end of time and give yourself an ulcer.

3. If you're going to have a meltdown, do it in private. It's bad enough studying for exams and facing the nervous buzz of students. But to have a total meltdown in the law school lobby really stresses those around you out as well. As Jack Nicholson said in the movie As Good As it Gets, "Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."