On the Bright Side

I am happy to report that the migraines are starting to abate and my medicine is beginning to work. I know that when I was growing up they kept saying, "Say no to drugs." But they weren't referring to pharmaceuticals that prevent migraines!

I was talking to some friends about not getting the legal internship I applied for. A friend of mine who is looking for a full time legal job was also turned down for a legal job with the federal government, so we commiserated a bit. We agreed that we needed a commiseration party, complete with liquid refreshments. So while we still aren't getting the results we want and the job market is bad all over, at least we aren't alone.

Jokingly, I told my friends that the interviewer should have at least given me credit for having put on eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss, and a touch of blush, all tastefully done, not the least bit Baby Jane a la Betty Davis (if you don't know the reference, look up "What Every Happened to Baby Jane" at IMDB.)

Strangely enough, my mother-in-law recently commented on how nice I've looked recently because I've started wearing makeup. Maybe it's because makeup makes me look less like a stressed out, worn out, tired, old, middle aged law student? But I digress.

On a side note, I actually read somewhere in one of our career services office fliers that women HAD to wear makeup to an interview because it made us look "brighter". Otherwise we would look dull.

I don't recall them telling men that they look "dull" without lip gloss.

If you believe the flier, apparently, I didn't have full wattage applied for my interview because I didn't get the job. That or I didn't have the full clown regalia on. That might have left quite an impression on the interviewer! Especially if I had put the honky red nose on!

Or maybe it would have been helpful if the career services office would have given step by step instructions on how to apply the makeup. Or maybe had a makeup session for female students.

(Actually, I know I didn't get the job because someone more qualified did, and I don't feel bad about that at all.)

In all seriousness, I will say that it is sexist to tell women they HAVE to wear makeup at all. I wore a small amount of makeup because I like it... sometimes, and only if I feel like it. But I have also interviewed without makeup before and have received job offers.

My advice for anyone looking for a professional job, having had a few in my life before law school, do what makes you feel most professional, and let's leave it at that.

Oh, and leave the clown nose at home. Unless you're looking to become a professional clown.

No News Was Not Good News

Unfortunately, no news was not good news for me. I did not get the job.

But I have to say, I'm glad I tried.

A big thanks to everyone's well wishes.

And I will try again, when another one comes along.

Do I, Don't I?

Well, I went to the interview, which lasted less than 20 minutes. But since the other applicant was heading in as I was heading out, I could tell they were scheduled that way.

I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY WANT THE JOB.

And that's scary.

Of course, there are also TONS of other applicants.

I told my husband that it would be awesome experience, if I could get it. But I also told him that there would be no guarantee of a job after law school, especially with the economy as bad as it is. And in fact, I would expect no job after law school. But the experience was such that it would be worth the trouble even if I had no prospects after law school. He agreed with me on that point.

The internship would be actually trying cases for a local prosecutor's office, on a limited basis. I would be crazy not to want it. It would be real experience. I would give my right arm for experience like that.

They will make the decision by the end of this week. I told my husband though that if I don't get accepted, it's because someone more qualified got the job. And that's what I'll tell myself.

But last night I did have a minor nervous break down at the thought of giving up a full time job for a part-time job with less pay. I cried, and I was scared. And I'm stressed as hell. I'm sure I freaked my husband out, but he played it well.

If nothing else, I went to the interview and I'm glad I did.

Now I want to go home and sleep for a week. Instead I have Inns of Court tonight. And then I'll go home and sleep.

A Non Trad Fear

All law students, especially now, fear the big, "What if..."

What if I don't find a legal job after law school?

But non-trads who work full-time like me fear something a little bigger.

What if I quit my full-time job?

That's a huge risk. And it's not only a huge risk in an unstable economy. Because for a non-trad, there's usually more than one person at stake. It's a huge financial impact on my family. What if I can't find a part-time job to help support my family during this time? What about student loans? What about the stress on my husband? What if I can't find a decent job after law school? It's so scary!

But what's scarier for me is that right now there may be a potential for an internship that may have a huge payoff in the end, experience-wise, that could down the road lead to something more. Do I take the risk and quit my job, or do I take the "safe" route and hold on to my full-time job and hope I somehow find a good legal job after law school?

I've decided to go the interview to see what the internship is about and how long it will last. From what I know, it looks to be a good position, although the hours are half of what I have right now and the pay is less. But the work is actual legal research, writing, and in-court work, as opposed to my current non-legal work. After the interview, I will discuss with my husband what options we have and decide from there, because I can't decide this on my own.

Oh, decisions, decisions.

A Visit to the Doctor

So I took my sorry butt down to the doctor's office on Friday the 13th for my annual physical. Yes, the Friday the 13th. And no, I didn't have any other choice.

Once I arrived, I was having another in a long line of massive migraines with the associated nausea so I begged off having the actual "exam" if you know what I mean.

Needless to say, the nurse was annoyed at having to put away all of the stuff she laid out for the exam. But I was in so much pain I burst into tears in the waiting room, which is very unlike me. My outburst made her feel bad for complaining, the big whiner.

My doctor, forunately, is amazing. He said "Forget the exam today, let's focus on the migraines."

It seems that having daily migraines for the past three months is a bit abnormal, at least in his professional opinion. I had migraines before, a few times a month, but nothing like I've had this fall. And the medication I was using to kill them was giving me bad side effects. So he sent me for some blood tests and started me on some new medication. One pill will be to potentially prevent migraines and another new one will kill the migraines should they occur.

After chewing me out for not coming in sooner, he also said that - believe it or not - going to law school and working full time might be causing me to be overly fatigued. (Get out! No! Really???) And that this fatigue may be contributing both to my moods and my migraines.

I cried again because, while I already knew I was feeling overwhelmed, having the doctor affirm it made me feel better, as strange as that sounds.

So, the game plan is to get the migraines under control. After Thanksgiving I'm scheduled to go back in to see the doctor to review how the new meds are working. Then we're going to discuss my bloodwork and see what changes in my life I need to make.

And he said we'll worry about the annual physical sometime after the new year.

Better Day Today

After having a pretty crummy week so far, I am happy to report that today is a much better day.

My arm is almost healed from the attack of the killer bee.

The drain at the house is clear, thanks to the hard work of my husband.

I'm ignoring my supervisor at work.

I was able to schedule all the classes I wanted for next term: Remedies, Tax and a Clinic.

And best of all, I was finally able to go to dinner with my best friend after six months. It's amazing how life can get in the way of meeting up with people, on both our sides. But she's been my friend for thirty years - yes, since we were in grade school - so she's the one person who reminds me of who I really am, despite all the other craziness in my life. It was like a recharge to my batteries.

Hope everyone else's week ends on a good note too!

A Bad Week

So far, it hasn't been my best week ever.

I had the the horrendous bee sting on Sunday leading to three days of a benadryl and advil binge. Last night at a family member's confirmation, it was so warm in church that my already puffy arm swelled even more so that my fingers looked like fat sausages and I could barely move them. When I finally arrived home, I had to ice them to regain movement. Fortunately, today the swelling has gone down and my arm is just mildly itchy with a five inch red blotch surrounding the wound.

My work life this week is still unpleasant. For example, my supervisor was being crabby yesterday because she didn't tell me about a particular deadline when she asked me to set up a meeting, she simply said to set up the meeting. So when the meeting time was set too far out in time for her liking - because that's the only time everyone she wanted was available - she got mad, assuming I knew what she failed to tell me. Again, not that a deadline would have mattered because no one was available until the later date.

So I went back and tried to find an earlier time, letting everyone know about the deadline and how urgent the meeting was, but there was one hold-out who refused to accomodate the meeting. Annoyed when I told her, my supervisor asked if I told the hold-out that SoAndSo asked for the meeting (in hopes of forcing that hold-out to cave into my request)? No, because again, she failed to tell me that factiod and how am I supposed to assume that anyone other than her is requesting the meeting?

This is the curse of working for someone who fails to communicate essential items on a regular basis. So I'm forced most of the time to play 20 questions with her to figure out what she really needs. Apparently, yesterday I only asked 19 questions instead of 20 - my bad.

Again, this is a daily scenario with my supervisor. I don't recall ever telling her I am psychic. I'm a secretary trying to work my way through law school, not a mind-reader. She just assumes I'm stupid while I silently seethe and wish an unpleasant rash on her.

I found out she was annoyed with how I handled the meeting task because she was gossiping to my co-worker on the other side of the wall from me, of course making herself seem blameless. Yeah, discretion and confidentiality are not high on my supervisor's list. At least it was in a loud whisper meaning that she was pretending to be discreet? I could complain to my union about her, but that's just pointless and would make an already unpleasant work situation more hostile.

Instead, I count the days until I can find somewhere else to work. I know I shouldn't care about my job since it's just temporary until I finish my law degree, but it's so hard to ignore when I spend 40 hours a week there. I come home almost every night wishing I didn't have to go back to work there. Unfortunately, jobs are scarce where I live, so I hold on to what I have, hoping for something to change.

And finally, as icing on my already bad cake for the week, last night I was using the garbage disposal to dispose of used tea leaves when the disposal backed up. After a brief, gurgling sound, an explosion of dirty water splashed out over me, including a mixture of bleach and chemical household cleaner my husband had used on Sunday. Aside from the horrible ick factor, the mixture sprayed onto my face and across my favorite black shirt. Fortunately, I was able to close my eyes in time to prevent any real damage. My shirt was not so lucky and ended up in the garbage, streaked with cleaning chemicals, brown goo, and bleach. My husband's new t-shirt was also splattered when he came to assess the damage. He was not amused.

This happened at 10 pm, so needless to say, my husband was mightily annoyed at having to fix the drain. I still maintain it wasn't my fault, it was just a little bunch of tea leaves. But my husband thinks it's been backed up for a while and and the tea leaves were the final straw.

Is it Friday yet?

Bad Bee Stings

Well, my arm is still swollen like the elephant man from that bee sting. I don't usually have a bad allergic reaction to bee sting, so it just may be my [un] lucky month.

My husband searched WebMD to see if my arm was going to fall off. To my good fortune, they said no (as much as you can trust online medical experts). They did however said it could take a few days before the swelling goes down.

Since I see my doctor on Friday anyways for a physical (Friday the 13th for an annual girl exam sucks, but I digress) I can always let him know if the swelling hasn't gone down.

Nothing like sitting through eight hours of work and two hours of class while your arm burns and itches. And of course, scratching my arm provides instant relief but in the end only makes it worse, so there's the psychological torture of trying not to scratch.

Fortunately, it itches less today than yesterday, so I'm feeling like I'm on the road to recovery.

The sad thing was that I didn't see where the bee came from, so I couldn't drown the nest in water or anything like that to get my revenge. Instead, I'm just terrified of using the leaf blower now.

Weekend Roundup

On Saturday, I went to dinner with some friends of mine who are going to be graduating at the end of next semester. I'm obviously jealous that they are so close to being done.

However, when I asked them what they planned to do when they graduate, since neither of them have held a substantive job in over two years, they both kind of seemed worried. They both used to work full time, like me, while attending school but quit their jobs when the going got tough. Neither one has a job lined up upon graduation, legal or otherwise.

One friend seemed willing to take anything, legal or not, so she could continue to pay the rent. She's starting to look now.

The other friend kind of hoped someone would scrape something up for her through her networking. I asked her if she told her network that she's looking for work. She said no, that they all "knew" she was graduating soon and would probably help her out. That didn't sound very promising to me. She's also the one who isn't planning on taking a bar prep class because she doesn't have any money left.

On Sunday, I did my wifely duty by helping my husband take care of the leaves in the yard. Basically, my job was to trim all the perenials in the flower beds and to use the leaf blower on the lawn. All this left me with was a sore back and a nasty bee sting because apparently, bees don't like leaf blowers. I almost got stung a second time, but managed to get out of the way of one angry bee. I wonder if I blew away their nest?

Either way, my arm is red and massively inflamed today. Fortunately, I'm wearing a red shirt today so my arm matches my shirt.

I did manage to study Agency law this weekend, but only to the point where I got bored and took a nap. I'm just not into my classes this term.

There's always next term.

Inching Closer to the Finish Line

I'm definitely inching closer to the finish line. I reminded myself of that yesterday when I was planning out my next term's classes.

After next term, I will only have five classes to go. The end is coming! The end is coming! And it's a good thing! It's definitely put some wind in my otherwise deflated sails.

Next term, I am taking a class on tax, a class on equities, and an evening clinical internship (yes, that means living, breathing clients).

Now if only I could find some enthusiasm for my current classes, or at least just enough to get me through finals!

A Little Restraint

While waiting for class yesterday to start, a girl was sprawled on the floor in front of the classroom door talking to her buddy about how sh**faced she was going to get this weekend and how the bartendered better not pour her any weak drinks or she was going to get f**king pissed.

Wow, I bet the employers would be lined up around the block to hire her on based on her professionalism. I heard someone say something once about how you never know who you're standing next to, so how you behave outside of work can sometimes filter back into work.

For example, I was at a networking event this week full of attorneys, judges, and law professors. The event had a cash bar and appetizers. I decided to have wine with my appetizers. But I made sure to limit myself as to how much I drank, because the last thing I want at a networking event is to have these future colleagues see me loopy.

But it's not just law related events I have to think about. I'm also mindful that I live in this community with my future colleagues. I have the potential to run into any of them when I'm out at a restaurant or a bar (or anywhere else). I'm sure it would not inspire confidence in my professional abilities if they saw me acting like a college co-ed at a kegger.

I'm not saying that law students can't drink or have fun. But geez! Have a little restraint sometimes.

Maybe I'm just old and have been out in the working world a little longer, but I can tell you that at all the places I've worked, no one ever bragged about how sh**faced they got over the weekend. A few drinks or had a good time, yes. Sh**faced, no.

A Day Off...

Yesterday, I had the day off from work so I could catch up on school work. It never quite works out the way I planned, but I had good intentions:


Awake at 6:30 am when husband got up for work. He asked if he could take my car since it was behind his. I mumbled something, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

I slept in until 10 am when the dog couldn't hold it any longer and tried to sniff my face to see if I was alive.

Husband called at 10:30 am to see if I was actually awake and if I could run to the post office for him.

I fumbled around the house to a chorus of "Good Morning" squawks from the birds until 11 am.

I took a shower around 11:30 am. Then after Big Bird yelled, "Goodbye, see ya later!" as I walked out the door, I drove downtown to pick up something from the law school.

Then I ran into a family member and I decided to go on an unscheduled lunch at Noon. Stayed there for an hour and a half until my parking meter expired.

Once back in my car, started chatting with my husband at 1:30 pm.

Arrived at the post office around 2 pm.

Arrived back home around 2:15 pm. Ended the call with my husband.

Made myself a cup of tea around 2:20 pm.

Started reading cases around 2:30 pm.

Made another cup of tea around 2:45 pm.

At 3 pm, mother-in-law called to see if husband and I wanted to join them for dinner - their treat. Said I needed to check with my husband.

Spoke with my husband at 3:10 pm to see what he wanted to do about the dinner invitation. He said okay.

Called my mother-in-law back at 3:20 pm to tell her we'd meet them for dinner.

Went back to reading cases at 3:30 pm.

Got distracted and surfed the tv about 4 pm. Went back to reading cases.

Husband arrived home at 4:50 pm. Gave up trying to read cases, only made it through two out of five.

We chatted until 5:30 pm. Then we got ready for dinner.

Left for dinner at 5:45 pm.

Met in-laws for Mexican at 6 pm. Tried to grab the bill before they got it, but then when I was trying to reach for my purse, they swiped the bill away and paid for dinner, again.

Left dinner at 7 pm for Halloween Fest at a local bookstore. Bought too many (non-legal) books plus a remote control zombie toy with green skin that moans and staggers. Not feeling the least bit guilty about purchases.

Arrived home around 8 pm. Husband headed off to computer room and I curled up with a (non-legal) book.

Put the little squawking bird to bed around 9 pm. He kept chattering under his cage cover for another ten minutes while I repeatedly told him to go to bed and "No beaky!"

Piggy (the little dog) decided it was bedtime around 11 pm so I made Big Bird go into her cage. She called out several times, "Good Night!" Then Piggy and I went to bed.


Yeah, I didn't get all my school work done. But all in all, it was a productive day and I felt refreshed when it was done.

Counting Down the Days...Not Yet

Two of my law school friends are graduating in May. They are counting down the days until graduation. In some ways, I'm green with envy that they're almost done. In other ways, I'm okay with being where I am at.

I smile and say that I have until next December to graduate. I'm okay with that because the job market, especially the legal job market, has dried up in my state and has flown off to parts unknown. I think that in another year things might look a little brighter in my state (it can't get much worse), so having to wait until then to begin the job search is okay with me.

I still am jealous that my friends are almost done with school. Each hour in class DRAGS on my soul. I have absolutely no energy or enthusiasm for my classes. Of course, that's typical of this part of the term when I could care less about law school. In a few weeks I'll be back on the bandwagon preparing for exams. But right now, I'd love to join my friends in counting down my final days.

As for the job front, I am currently applying for internships and other legal clerking jobs, just so I can get some experience. Let's face it, I have to be able to put something on my resume other than, "Hated law journal, doesn't run with scissors, and has years of non-legal experience."

Yes, it may mean giving up my full time job in order to get legal experience, but I know in the end it will be worth the effort.

31 Flavors of Law

When I first took a torts class, my professor off-handedly said she didn't remember much about criminal law except that she didn't like it. I had another professor in Con Law say they didn't know much about contract law, just enough to pass the bar and then forget about it.

I'm beginning to understand why people veer towards their favorite flavors of the law early on.

You've got your standard flavors of law: torts, criminal, and contracts. You have your neapolitan mixture like property. You have a few specialty flavors like administrative and wills. And then you've got your exotics flavors like oil and gas or immigration.

Business law, to me, tastes like a sickly sour ice cream that's sat too long in the freezer and is growing ice on it's rubbery crust. I get a headache from eating it and it burns in my throat.

Business law is now my albatross and if I never have to read another stockholder derivative case, I will be a happy woman. I wanted to shove a pencil in my eye instead of reading the rest of the cases. And when I tell my office mate about limited partnerships and liability, her eyes roll into the back of her head as if I'm a demon speaking tongues.

Not Quite There Yet...

When they tell you it's only three years, it sounds simple. What no one tells you is that three years can feel like a long time while you're in the midst of it.

I was telling my husband the other day how much I absolutely despise my current job. I quit my previous job before I started law school and began to work as a secretary at my current job because I needed money; they allow me to have a more flexible schedule; and they allow me to study.

It made sense at the time, even though it was a HUGE step down from my previous job. I figured I could handle it and it would be a relief from my previous job considering I had to balance law school.

What I didn't realize was how long three years can be when you're stuck in a job that you really dislike and the economy is so bad you can't go out and find a different one.

In fact, most days I feel like crying before I even make it to work.

What makes it worse is that my current supervisor is really crappy. She's highly in need of supervisory training. She's likes to gossip with one person (her favorite employee) and is an ice princess with everyone else. And the lack of communication on her part causes so much stress on everyone else's part. Need to know something to get your job done? Good luck finding out what you need to know.

It affects the whole office, so it's not just me. But that doesn't always help me feel better.

I've been spoiled before by having good supervisors so I can spot a bad one in a heartbeat. Plus in the past I've been a supervisor who's had extensive management training. So I was pleased when I took this job that it was under an excellent supervisor. It was a complete shock when she left six months later and we were stuck with the new, untrained, inexperienced supervisor.

My current supervisor was off most of the summer on leave and we had an awesome interim supervisor while she was gone. And then she came back, making work all the more painful because for a little while we had a reprieve.

Maybe working full time and going to school just makes me tired, so I have less tolerance than normal.

Yes, I understand the economy's bad and I'm grateful to have a job. I just wish the next year would fly by quickly so I can at least start looking for legal jobs, or any other type of substantial job, instead of being stuck here.